when do you..

when do you know if it's time to change
when do you know if it's time to stop everything
when do you know if it's time to be assertive
when do you know if it's time to take charge of your life.


i'm so sick and tired of living a mundane life. i may feel really busy sometimes with hall stuff and school and shopping. but underneath everything, am i really living my life the way i want to?? sometimes, i just want to break free of all chains. when do you know when enough is enough? how i wish i was someone else entirely different. how i wish sometimes life wasn't that cruel. how i wish sometimes, life was just a lil bit more interesting. how i wish sometimes i have skills which marvel. how i wish sometimes i wasn't here, but somewhere out there, doing different things. i could be a painter, i could be a beggar, i could be a waitress, i could be in dean's list, i could be a fashion designer. now, i am really really tired of all that is going on. i hate it when i can't make decisions. i hate it when i can't choose. i hate it when i'm so incoherent. i hate it when everything seems to be going so fast and i'm always left behind. how i wish everything was different. sometimes i really hate to be at home when my sis will throw me dirty looks. sometimes i really hate to be in hall when there's just too many things to do.

i just don't think i have what it takes to be everything i want to be.
and somehow this feeling sucks.


ayee. i'm going nuts. marketing readings are killing.